Seven Reasons Why I'm Never Lonely

 You can be alone, but not feel lonely. How?

                    Photo by Author            

I originally wrote this article on Medium.com in 2019. However, I came across this article recently realizing that with the Pandemic many people have suffered through isolation and loneliness. The article below will explain how you can be alone but not feel lonely whether employed or unemployed. I hope it helps.

I have been single, married, lived alone, and lived with other people. Whatever the timeframe in my life, I can’t remember ever being lonely.

Except once…

That exception was when I lived in Key West, Florida. An island surrounded by water on all sides, nestled in the ocean. For a few days I experienced a deep emptiness crawling inside of me. As fast it came was as fast as it left.

Currently, I am single with plenty of work to do. Working part-time, helping out my kids, and volunteering keeps me very busy. I also choose not to date. Consequently, people have often asked me if I get lonely. Easy answer. No.

After giving this some thought, I have come up with at least 7 reasons in my life for not feeling lonely. You may recognize some of these in your own life.

1. Mindset. I never think about being lonely. Negative thoughts can trigger negative emotions.
2. Don’t live in the past. Sometimes the past can start you thinking about regrets in your life. Those regrets, perhaps in relationships, can trigger a feeling of loneliness. Live in the moment.
3. Communicate and talk to other people, including strangers. This takes the focus off of yourself. Find enjoyment in people.
4. Develop spirituality. This should be at the top of my list. Open prayer and communication with the Creator. A spiritual person is focused on building inner qualities.
5. Laugh a lot. Taking things too serious can be a drain on your emotions.
6. Volunteer. Statistics show that people that volunteer are happier and healthier. When you are helping others, there is no time to think about being lonely.
7. Do something that makes you happy every day. It doesn’t need to be something big. Positive direction.

I do not work in the medical field. However, I hope that a few of these points can help you if you are feeling lonely.

---

Always seek professional help if your loneliness is plummeting or your negative feelings are out of control.

How to Be Happy Unemployed

Can you be unemployed and happy at the same time?  Of course you can.  You may not be thrilled with the fact that you have lost your job, bills still need to be paid, resumes galore must be sent out and the third-degree type interviews are bound to happen.  However, as I have said several times on this blog, life does go on. How can you be happy while unemployed or underemployed in a world based on financial success is all in how you view your success in life.

Do not measure your success or happiness by what you have or don't have.  Success should be measured by your character and your integrity.  Good character and integrity are priceless. Oddly though financial success, or striving for it, has given way to the broken character of many men over the centuries. So what does that mean to you?  You may have lost a job, or are very under-employed, but it is your integrity along with positive character-building qualities that count. Take inventory. How does your inner core values stand up to these questions?

• Although unemployed, would you take a job that was against all your core principles or values because the money was good?
• Would you tell the truth about a matter if it meant losing your bonus?
• What comes first in your life?... God, family, money, or self?
• Do you believe good honest work at a lower pay rate is honorable if it is not illegal or immoral? Better yet, how do you view people working these type of jobs?
• Do you find yourself losing your temper more often since you lost your job?
• Are you less patient at this time in your life with your children, or your spouse?
• What positive character traits, i.e. honesty, loyalty, commitment, and sincerity do you value the most?
• Are you so consumed with your own situation that you cannot or have not shown compassion to ones in need?

Just points everyone, regardless of being employed or not, should consider. Your view of success goes hand-in-hand with happiness.  Sticking to your true core values (hopefully, they are good ones), and recognizing them, will give you contentment which equals happiness.  If you get a chance read this poem I wrote a while back. It sheds light on who we really are...  Inside Out